Postpartum rage is an intense and often misunderstood experience many new parents face after having a baby. While the early months of parenthood are often described as joyful, many people experience overwhelming anger, irritability, and emotional exhaustion. Having a baby is supposed to be one of the most joyful experiences of your life. You imagine holding your newborn, feeling that instant bond, and being swept up in all the love and excitement a new family member brings. But for a lot of parents, the reality is way more complicated. Along with the joy, there’s the exhaustion, the anxiety, and sometimes this intense, overwhelming anger. It’s confusing, scary, and honestly, a little shameful to feel rage when you’re “supposed” to be happy. You snap at your partner, yell over the smallest things, or feel frustrated in ways that make you wonder if you’ve completely lost it. And then comes the guilt. No one really talks about it, so you’re left wondering if something is wrong with you. That full-body, white-knuckle fury; the kind that feels disproportionate and nonstop is rarely mentioned in nine months of prenatal visits, in every baby book, or in all the well-meaning advice you get. I remember the first time I actually said it out loud to my doctor: “I’m not sad. I’m furious. At everything. All the time.” And she didn’t flinch. She just nodded and said, “That’s one of the most common things I hear, and it is one of the least talked about.” Postpartum anger is more common than many people realize, yet it’s often hidden behind the expectation that new parents should be endlessly patient, endlessly loving, and endlessly grateful. The truth is, your body and mind are going through enormous changes, and your emotions are naturally affected. Recognizing that anger is a normal, understandable response to these pressures is the first step toward managing it effectively. What Is Postpartum Rage? Postpartum rage is intense anger or irritability that occurs after giving birth. Unlike the typical “baby blues” or occasional frustration, postpartum rage can feel sudden, overwhelming, and difficult to control. You might notice yourself snapping at loved ones, yelling over minor inconveniences, or feeling a deep sense of frustration that seems to come out of nowhere. It’s important to understand that postpartum rage is not a sign that you’re a bad parent. Your brain and body are undergoing massive changes after childbirth. Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and the stress of caring for a newborn can all amplify emotions, making it easier to feel triggered or frustrated. For some parents, these feelings are linked to anxiety, depression, or unresolved trauma, while for others, they emerge simply from the exhaustion and pressure of new parenthood. Recognizing postpartum rage as a legitimate, common experience is the first step toward understanding it and finding ways to cope. You are not alone, and these intense feelings don’tmean you love your baby any less. They just mean your nervous system is overwhelmed and in need of support. What strikes me now, looking back, is how much the anger made sense once I understood what was driving it. It wasn’t random. It was a signal. How Common Is It? Postpartum rage is more common than the silence around it would suggest. Up to 1 in 5 new mothers experience clinically significant postpartum depression, and irritability and anger are actually among its most common symptoms. Some researchers even argue that anger may show up more than sadness, especially in women who have been socialized to suppress certain emotions but not others (Altshuler et al., 2000; O’Hara & McCabe, 2013). For many parents, that full-body, white-knuckle fury isn’t a side effect. It’s a core part of what they’re experiencing. And it’s not just birthing mothers. Fathers, non-birthing partners, and adoptive parents report postpartum anger too (Paulson & Bazemore, 2010; Cameron et al., 2016). So while hormones can play a role, rage is also about the very real pressures of new parenthood: the relentless sleep deprivation, the sudden shift in identity, the strain on relationships, and the constant demand to keep everything under control. Research backs this up. A 2018 study found that irritability and anger predicted persistent postpartum depressive symptoms more strongly than sadness alone (Sutter-Dallay et al., 2018). A 2021 review highlighted that anger is often underdiagnosed and undertreated in the postpartum period, even though it can affect both parent and baby (Giallo et al., 2021). The takeaway is clear: postpartum rage is real, it’s common, and it doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. It’s the result of biology, stress, sleep deprivation, and the massive life changes that come with having a new baby. You’re not alone, and talking about it doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human! Why It Happens: Hormonal withdrawal After birth, estrogen and progesterone drop sharply and rapidly. These hormones play a huge role in regulating mood, and their sudden withdrawal can destabilize the brain’s emotional circuitry, making ordinary frustrations feel unbearable. Your nervous system is not overreacting, it is genuinely dysregulated. It’s not about being “too sensitive”; it’s your biology recalibrating under extreme stress. The neuroscience of sleep deprivation The prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain responsible for impulse control, planning, and emotional regulation, is one of the first casualties of sleep deprivation. New parents are routinely operating at levels of sleep loss that would be considered a clinical emergency in anyother context. Anger is not a moral failing in this state. It’s a predictable neurological consequence of running on empty, and understanding that can be surprisingly freeing. The invisible load Even in households that consider themselves equal, the cognitive and physical labor of new parenthood often lands disproportionately on one person. The constant anticipation; feeds, naps, diapers, developmental milestones and the mental management of everything else that nobody else sees or thanks you for, accumulates like snow in a storm. When that work goes unacknowledged, resentment is not irrational; it’s rational. And eventually, it surfaces as rage. Grief that has nowhere to go Becoming a parent comes with real losses: your autonomy, your previous identity, your body, your career trajectory, even the relationship you once had with your partner. That grief is valid, but it’s rarely given space. In my experience, when grief is not recognized or expressed, it often comes out as anger instead, and is raw, surprising, and sometimes frightening in its intensity. Layers upon layers What I’ve learned is that postpartum rage is rarely about one thing. It’s not just hormones. It’s not just sleep. It’s not just the invisible labor or the grief. It’s all of those things, colliding at once, and amplified by the pressure to be calm, happy, and grateful every single moment. It’s the perfect storm for anger, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing as a parent. It means you’re human. Why Nobody Warned Us & What Can Help Postpartum rage is common, yet rarely discussed. The research on mood changes, irritability, and anger after birth exists, but cultural expectations around motherhood often enforce silence. New parents are expected to feel joy, fatigue, or occasional sadness, but anger, especially toward one’s baby or partner, does not fit the script. This can create shame and prevent people from seeking help, even when symptoms are distressing. Addressing postpartum anger often requires multiple approaches. A first step is acknowledging the feelings and discussing them with a healthcare provider. Screening tools, like the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, can help provide a clinical framework, confirming that these experiences are recognized and treatable rather than character flaws. Therapy with a clinician who specializes in perinatal mental health can be especially helpful. Such specialists can help identify the underlying factors contributing to anger, including exhaustion, grief, and perceived inequities in household or caregiving responsibilities, and provide strategies to manage them effectively. Structural changes, such as having clear conversations about the distribution of labor at home, are often necessary in addition to therapy. Clarifying roles, responsibilities, and expectations can help reduce the stress and resentment that fuel anger. Medication may also be part of a treatment plan for some parents. SSRIs and SNRIs are often considered compatible with breastfeeding, and pharmacological support can be an important tool for addressing neurochemical contributors to mood dysregulation. Recognizing the need for medication is not a weakness but a valid component of treatment. When to Seek Help for Postpartum Rage If postpartum anger feels overwhelming or begins affecting your relationships, daily functioning, or connection with your baby, professional support can help. Therapy with a clinician who specializes in postpartum mental health can provide strategies to regulate emotions, process stress, and restore balance during this transition. You Are Not Who You’re Afraid You’ve Become The version of yourself standing in that kitchen at 3 a.m., white with rage, is not your “true self” revealed. She is a person under extraordinary physiological and emotional strain, navigating a culture that underprepares and undersupports new parents, experiencing a recognized clinical symptom that has been kept quiet for far too long. This anger is not evidence that you don’t love your child. Often, it’s a sign of just how much you care and how little margin you’ve been given to do this well. Reach out. Tell your doctor. Find a therapist who understands this territory. Let someone see the whole picture. The shame that keeps postpartum rage hidden is what makes it hardest to heal. You don’t have to face this alone. If you feel like you need support, I would be honored to help guide you through this challenging time. Through therapy, we can work together to understand the roots of your anger, develop coping strategies, and create space for relief, healing, and self-compassion. Need Support After Baby? If postpartum anger or overwhelm is affecting your daily life, support is available. Schedule a session with me at  Stanley Psychology today. Call: 817-592-0750 To schedule a session with me, you can contact Stanley Psychology at 817-592-0750 or email info@stanleypsychology.com . Remember: Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are capable, resilient, and deserving of support. With the right tools and guidance, you can reclaim calm, confidence, and joy in your parenthood journey.

Struggling with intrusive thoughts or OCD symptoms? Stanley Psychology offers evidence-based OCD therapy, including virtual appointments for clients across Texas and in-person sessions in Mansfield. 📞 Call: (817) 592-0750 📩 info@stanleypsychology.com Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often portrayed as extreme cleanliness, organization, and the need for control. But let’s get real for a second… someone can be clean, organized, and have an anxious need for control without having OCD. And here’s the important part: many people with OCD don’t relate to this stereotype at all. This misunderstanding causes people to doubt themselves, minimize their symptoms, or assume what they’re experiencing “doesn’t count” as OCD. As a result, many individuals delay getting the support that could genuinely help. If you’re experiencing intrusive thoughts or compulsive behaviors that feel overwhelming, support is available. Stanley Psychology offers evidence-based OCD therapy, including virtual therapy appointments for clients anywhere in Texas, as well as in-person sessions in Mansfield. So let’s clear this up. What is OCD? OCD is characterized by obsessions and/or compulsions. Obsessions are: Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress. The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion). In everyday language: these are thoughts that show up uninvited, feel disturbing or alarming, and refuse to let go—no matter how much you wish they would. Compulsions are: Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly. The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive. Compulsions can be visible or completely invisible to others. And yes, mental compulsions count. A crucial (and often missed) feature of OCD A crucial element of OCD is that obsessions are usually NOT in alignment with your identity or value system. That is why obsessions tend to be so disturbing. OCD doesn’t latch onto random topics. It goes straight for what you care about most. And then convinces you that the very presence of the thought means something terrible about you! Here’s what that can look like. Example: Intrusive thoughts that go against your values For example, let’s say you are a very family-oriented person who wants to become a parent one day. And to your horror, you keep having recurrent and persistent intrusive images of inappropriately touching your beloved niece. It FREAKS YOU OUT each time this thought pops in your head. You have never done something like this before and the mere thought of it disgusts and distresses you. Then you might doubt, “ Is me thinking this proof that I am a pedophile, or that I might become one? Am I a danger to children? Should I avoid my niece? Maybe I can’t become a parent after all… ” The extreme distress might lead you to avoid people and situations. It might even drive you to perform certain compulsions. Maybe you learn to tap a certain number of times when the intrusive image pops in your mind. Or maybe you learn to say a specific prayer each time. Or maybe you intentionally picture something else mentally immediately after the intrusive image, to replace that horrific image with something positive or neutral. This cycle becomes overwhelming and causes your quality of life to diminish. What’s important to understand here is this: the distress exists because the thought is unwanted and deeply inconsistent with the person’s values. That mismatch is a hallmark feature of OCD. It is not a sign of intent, desire, or character. Another common OCD presentation: Fear of causing harm through illness Let’s go over another example to highlight how OCD is against your value system: let’s say that you fear spreading illness to those you love. You love your family and friends so much that you would never want to cause them any kind of harm or inconvenience. In the last year or so, you have become very concerned about getting sick and then feared inconveniencing or harming those around you by spreading the illness to them. You begin to experience recurrent and persistent intrusive thoughts like, “ What if I get COVID-19 and pass it along to my immunocompromised mom?” or “ What if I have asymptomatic virus and pass it on to my niece or nephew? After all,… sickness runs rampant this time of year.” These thoughts become so persistent that you decide to just deal with it and wash your hands excessively, to the point of hands getting raw despite using lotion. You also carry hand-sanitizer with you 24/7 and refuse to touch commonly touched surfaces or items. Your quality of life diminishes as this concern takes over your life and the freedom you once used to have. Again, OCD is doing what it does best: targeting love, responsibility, and care. It turns it all into fear. What all forms of OCD have in common OCD can focus on a variety of topics such as health, morality, relationships, taboo thoughts, harm, religion, etc. That said, most presentations share several core features: Intolerance of uncertainty Overestimation of responsibility or threat Temporary relief from compulsions that reinforces the cycle OCD targeting what you value most Different content. Same exhausting loop. OCD Therapy Options in Texas Many people struggling with intrusive thoughts benefit from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)  and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) , which are considered the gold standard treatments for OCD. At Stanley Psychology, our therapists specialize in helping individuals manage obsessive thoughts, reduce compulsions, and regain control of their daily lives. Our approach may include: OCD therapy for intrusive thoughts• Treatment for compulsions and repetitive behaviors• Support for anxiety related to OCD Virtual therapy appointments available across Texas • In-person therapy sessions in Mansfield If you're unsure whether what you're experiencing might be OCD, speaking with a trained therapist can help provide clarity and a path forward. When Should You Seek Help for OCD Intrusive Thoughts? If intrusive thoughts or compulsive behaviors are interfering with your daily life, professional support can help. Our therapists at Stanley Psychology provide compassionate, evidence-based OCD treatment  to help individuals understand their symptoms and begin reclaiming their lives. You don’t have to figure this out alone. 📞 Call to schedule a consultation:  833-849-1009 📩 Or contact us through our website to get started. OCD is treatable. There is real hope. I promise! If you’re reading this and thinking, “ Wow… this feels uncomfortably familiar,” I want you to know something important: There is so much hope. The gold standard treatment for OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), an evidence-based therapy that helps individuals learn to tolerate uncertainty, reduce compulsions, and reclaim their lives. This is done without needing 100% certainty first (because spoiler alert: OCD never accepts 100% certainty anyway). I also incorporate Inference-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (I-CBT), an OCD- specific approach that helps people learn to trust themselves again and step out of the doubt spiral OCD creates. You’re not broken, and you’re not alone! OCD can feel convincing, loud, and relentless. It can also be incredibly isolating; this is especially true when the thoughts are embarrassing, scary, or hard to explain. But OCD does not define who you are. If any of this resonates with you, support from an OCD-specialized therapist can make a meaningful difference. Helping people loosen OCD’s grip and reconnect with their values is genuinely one of the most rewarding parts of my work. And yes, you don’t have to do this alone. 💛 If you'd like to learn more about treatment options, you can also learn more about our therapy services at Stanley Psychology . Hope to chat soon, Veronica Guerrero-Quan, LPA-Independent Practice Frequently Asked Questions About OCD Can OCD cause intrusive thoughts? Yes. Intrusive thoughts are one of the most common symptoms of OCD. Is OCD treatable? Yes. Treatments like CBT and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) are highly effective. Can I receive OCD therapy online? Yes. Stanley Psychology offers virtual therapy for clients across Texas, making it easier to access support from home.

It’s the baby’s nap time, and you can’t decide whether you should take a shower, eat, drink some coffee, clean, read, or take a nap.  If you find yourself in this season of life, I see you, Mama! Let's talk about mental health for moms. There are so many changes that happen when becoming a mom. There is comfort in knowing that this season is one to cherish AND one that will graduate into future seasons with their own set of challenges and delights. No matter the season, however, the biggest blessings in life often come with the biggest sacrifices.  There is the expected hard. There is the unexpected hard.  There is the expected joy. There is the unexpected joy.  And there is a lot of life that fills the in-between.  It matters. Your family matters. You matter. You are not alone.  Motherhood holds a kind of hard work that shapes us in profoundly beautiful ways, yet there are seasons when we slip into unnecessary suffering that dims that beauty.  We can start to feel alone, overwhelmed, uninformed (or even overinformed lol), and feel broken down, anxious, angry, and upset that we cannot just stop feeling upset. Mom guilt has a way of wearing us down in ways no sleepless night ever could. Every mama has days that feel this way, but if it seems like most days are consumed by these feelings, take heart that there is hope. Motherhood doesn’t have to feel like this all the time. Being emotionally and mentally present is one of the most meaningful ways we can show up for ourselves and our families. This can become very difficult to walk in when we are experiencing stress, anxiety, depression, or a lack of confidence in our lives as a new mama. Having the space to grow personally can have a significant ripple effect on your kids, your spouse, and ultimately generations to come after you.  Therapy is not a “fix-all,” but it can be a tool to help in very practical and meaningful ways. One thing I am passionate about is sitting with women in their season of motherhood, and I would love to have the chance to hear your story.

Whether you have been diagnosed with ADHD or you just have a short attention span, many people struggle with staying focused on day-to-day tasks. Adults and children alike can benefit from some Back to School Focus Tips for staying on task and maintaining productivity throughout the day, and that’s what I’m here to help with! My first suggestion is to allow lists to be your best friend. We may have a list in our heads of all of the stuff that we need to get done each day, but if we don’t write it down, we can 1) forget what we need to do or 2) feel too overwhelmed by everything you need to remember to get started on anything.  Here’s how you start a list of tasks: Pick a day of the week to make your list and list everything out. For example, every Monday you make a list of things that need to be done that week. Write down everything from making the bed to mowing the lawn to writing invitations for the kids’ party next weekend.  Break the tasks down into smaller tasks and assign them to a day of the week. Do you eat an orange whole? No! You cut it up into smaller pieces. Treat tasks the same way. For example, if you have “clean the house” on your list, break that down into “clean the bathroom,” “mop the floors,” “dust the living room,” etc. Add those smaller tasks to a daily task list. Another option would be to assign a room to clean each day. For example, on Mondays you clean the bathroom, on Tuesdays you clean the kitchen, etc. Whatever makes the tasks feel achievable, do that! A task can be too big, but it can’t be too small.  If your list of daily tasks is getting too long, prioritize what needs to be done. For example, if you have “bathe the dogs,” “mow the lawn,” and “weed eat” on your list for a day that you also work a full shift, identify which of those tasks can be moved to a different day or a different week. If you overwhelm yourself, there is a good chance that nothing will get done, so make your task list achievable so at least the important things get completed.  Place this list somewhere you won’t miss it, like on your phone, front door, mirror, or all of the above. The list won’t do you any good if you don’t look at it.  For your kids, make a daily task list with pictures to put up in each room. For example, put their list of tasks done in their room (making the bed, putting toys away, etc.) up on a wall in their room. List their chores on the refrigerator (feed the dog, take out the trash, etc.). Put a list of things to do to get ready in the morning in the bathroom (brush your teeth, brush your hair, etc.). Provide a marker or sticker for the child to mark off the completed tasks.  My second suggestion is to take regular stretch breaks and utilize fidget toys if you have to sit for long periods. Sitting at a desk all day is hard for adults and kids. Here are some tips for staying focused: Stretch intermittently. For example, every hour, stand up and touch your toes, reach to the sky, and slowly twist your back. Stretching allows the mind to refocus and it releases endorphins that make you feel good! For your kids, ask their teachers if they can have regular stretch breaks throughout the day, or teach your kids some simple stretches they can do at their desks when they find their minds wandering. Reach your arms up and to the right then to the left Sit up straight and slowly twist your back from right to left Sit up straight and slowly turn your head from side to side Have some little fidget toys on hand. Pop-its, Thinking Putty, and stretchy noodles may seem like kid toys, but adults find them useful too! Don’t be afraid to have some little things on your desk to keep your hands busy during slow times. There’s no need to struggle through your workday when fidgets are designed to help! For your kids, talk to their teachers about fidget toy options in their classroom. If fidgets are not allowed, here are some options for quiet fidgeting in the classroom. Slowly tap your fingers one at a time on your desk. Try tapping your fingers in different orders or patterns. Remember to tap your fingers slowly so you don’t make much noise and disrupt the class! Place your hands on your chair on either side of your legs. Push the chair away from you so that your bottom barely comes off of the seat. This exerts energy and uses the muscles to help regain focus and release endorphins through movement.  Make your hands into fists and squeeze them as tight as you can for 10 seconds. After 10 seconds, relax your hands and notice how tired they feel. You can do this over and over and you can even do it with different muscles like your arms, legs, and feet.  If an inability to focus interferes with your ability to function during the day, start with these tips and then seek additional help. These struggles are not new or uncommon, so talk to a mental health professional who can help!

When people talk about peripartum mental health, they usually focus on postpartum depression or anxiety—and that’s incredibly important. But there’s something else many new moms go through that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: the mental load for moms that comes with motherhood. I’m not talking about the physical tasks of parenting, like changing diapers or feeding. I’m talking about the constant, never-ending  stream of mental “tabs” that stay open in your head all day (and night). Your mind is constantly running: Did I switch the laundry? When was the baby’s last feeding? I need to schedule that pediatrician appointment. Is this rash normal? Did I do enough tummy time today? It’s like having a browser with a dozen tabs open at all times—and you never really get to close any of them. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and NO, you’re not imagining it. This is often called the invisible load, and it’s real . What Is the Invisible Load? The invisible load doesn’t look the same for everyone. It can weigh heavily on moms whether you have one child or a house full of them. It’s not about how many kids you have—it’s about the constant mental juggling that comes with caring for others. It is all the mental, emotional, and logistical weight that many moms carry that is often without recognition or support. It’s the behind-the-scenes work of managing a household, caring for a child, and anticipating everyone’s needs. This includes remembering appointments, tracking feeding and sleep schedules, keeping up with school forms, grocery lists, birthday gifts, and even knowing where everyone’s shoes are. It’s checking the diaper bag before leaving the house, noticing when laundry needs to be done before anyone else does, and always being mentally three steps ahead. It’s the emotional labor of regulating your child’s feelings while barely managing your own, or absorbing a partner’s stress while holding it all together. It’s constantly weighing decisions— Should we try a new formula? Was that cry normal? Do I need to call the doctor? —and often doing so with very little rest. This is why so many moms say, “I’m exhausted, but I didn’t do anything today.” Because while it may look like “nothing” from the outside, internally, your brain was on overdrive. You did a lot—you just weren’t physically clocking in and out. You did it all while trying to remember to maintain a sense of your own identity that you also feel like you lost along the way either during pregnancy or after the baby was born. Somewhere in the blur of feedings, laundry, and middle-of-the-night wake-ups, it’s easy to lose sight of the person you were before becoming “Mom.” The invisible load is real, it’s heavy, and it deserves to be acknowledged. Just because it’s not visible doesn’t mean it isn’t work. In fact, it’s often the most exhausting kind. When this mental load builds up (and it almost always does), it can lead to some pretty serious struggles. You might start feeling constantly anxious or on edge, or notice that you’re more irritable than usual. Sleep becomes a challenge—not just because of the baby, but because your brain won’t turn off. You might find yourself snapping at people you love over small things, or feeling emotionally numb and disconnected from everything and everyone around you. There may be a constant sense that you're falling short, even when you're doing everything in your power. You may feel resentment, guilt, or sadness that lingers throughout the day. Sometimes, it shows up as decision fatigue—feeling paralyzed by even the smallest choices—or as a deep loneliness, even when you're rarely alone. This invisible weight can take a toll on your mental and physical health, making it harder to enjoy the moments you want to be present for. Why It Matters and Why Don’t We Talk About It More? Because the invisible load isn’t usually very visible. A lot of people that you interact with frequently don’t even notice it. Maybe not even your partner, your friends, or your own parents. It doesn’t come with a clock-in time, a job title, or a checklist you can point to. It lives in the quiet spaces: the middle-of-the-night mental notes, the endless background worry, the planning five steps ahead while managing the present moment. You know others mean well when they say things like, “But your baby is healthy!”  or “Enjoy every minute, it goes by so fast,”  or “You’re doing such a great job!”  These comments are usually meant with love and good intentions, but they can leave you feeling unseen and unheard. Because while you might look  like you have it all together on the outside, inside you may feel like you’re barely holding it together. You’re grateful, yes, but also insanely overwhelmed, exhausted, and stretched thinner than you’ve ever been before. There’s also a pressure to be the “supermom” who does it all without complaint. We’re told to savor every moment, be endlessly selfless, and bounce back quickly in all ways: physically, emotionally, socially. There’s an unspoken expectation to carry the mental load silently, and to do so with a smile. So when you don’t feel like you're managing it all well, it’s easy to think something must be wrong with you. You can start to second-guess your feelings or minimize them. But the truth is, struggling doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for you child(ren). It doesn’t mean you’re weak, or failing, or any less of a good parent. It just means you’re human. What Can Help? If you’re feeling mentally maxed out, know that you’re not alone. More importantly, there are  things that can help. The first step? Say it out loud. Sometimes, simply naming what you’re feeling— “I’m feeling really mentally overloaded,” can be extremely powerful. When you put words to the invisible load, it not only validates your experience for yourself, but also helps those around you better understand what you’re going through. Next, give yourself permission to ask for help, and to do so without guilt! This is one of the hardest things for many moms, especially those used to being the go-to, the planner, the one who just gets it all done. But here’s the truth: asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human . Learn to lean on your partner to schedule the pediatrician appointment. Let a friend or family member take over dinner duty for a night (I promise they want to). Delegate the grocery pickup. It’s okay to lean on your village, even if that village is small or still forming. New moms were never meant to carry all of this alone. Take time to care for yourself. Even if it’s just for a few minutes each day, carving out space to do something you enjoy or simply to breathe can make a huge difference. Whether it’s a quick walk outside, a few stretches, a short meditation, or diving into a hobby you used to love. Taking this time doesn’t make you selfish. It’s necessary! Physical activity, even something gentle like a walk or yoga, can boost your mood, reduce stress, and help you reconnect with your body. Also, try revisiting hobbies you used to enjoy or explore new ones that fit your current lifestyle. If you don’t have time to sit down and read a book, for example, look for an audiobook or podcast you can listen to while driving, cooking, or cleaning. If you liked crafting but don’t have long stretches of free time, try quick projects like coloring, knitting, or even simple doodling during small breaks. If you enjoyed music, create playlists that lift your mood or try learning a new song on an instrument in short sessions. The key is to find little pockets of time to connect with things that bring you joy, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Talking to someone who really gets it can make a huge difference. Therapists who specialize in perinatal mental health understand the invisible stress, the identity shifts, and the deep exhaustion that doesn’t go away with just a nap or a shower. They know that even when everything looks “fine” on the outside, you might be barely holding it together inside. Having a space to just talk—without needing to explain or sugarcoat anything—can be a huge relief. You don’t have to worry about saying the “right” thing or keeping it all together. You can cry, vent, be totally honest, and actually feel heard. And therapy isn’t just about giving you coping tools (although that helps, too). It’s also about feeling seen and supported. It’s a space to sort through everything you’ve been carrying, and maybe even reconnect with parts of yourself that have gotten lost in the shuffle. Because yes, you’re a mom, but you’re also a person with your own needs, feelings, and dreams. You deserve  that kind of support, even if you don’t think you do. If there’s one thing I hope you remember, it’s this: you’re not failing—you’re just carrying way too much on your plate. Motherhood is full of love and sweet moments, but it’s also full of pressure, expectations, and a never-ending to-do list. It’s okay to say, “This is a lot.”  It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to need help. So many moms feel like they should be able to do it all with a smile on their face and feeling 100% okay, but unfortunately that’s just not real life. What no one sees is all the behind-the-scenes mental work and how exhausting it can be to keep up with it all. But here’s the thing: there’s no medal for doing it all by yourself. No one hands out trophies for pushing through in silence (though honestly, if they did, we’d all be walking around with a bunch!) What you do  deserve is support, rest, and a chance to feel like yourself again and not just someone going through the motions. Take it from someone who knows firsthand—it doesn’t usually get better on its own. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, irritable, anxious, down, or just plain exhausted, know that you’re definitely not alone. Reach out. Talk to someone. Ask for help. Let others share the load with you. Because you matter! Not just as a mom, but as you . It’s possible to fully embrace your role as a mom while still staying true to who you are. That’s the beauty of motherhood—it doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself and who you were before kids, but rather growing into a new version of you. You can nurture your family and also nurture your own dreams, passions, and well-being. Finding that balance might take time and support, but it’s absolutely within reach!

Veronica Guerrero-Quan, M.S., LPA-Independent Practice Why Some Christians Put Off Therapy (And Why You Don’t Have To) As both a Christian and a therapist who’s currently pursuing my seminary degree, I’ve walked the road of balancing faith and mental health. And I get it—it can feel like there’s a tug-of-war between trusting God with your struggles and seeking professional help. Many Christians wrestle with whether it’s okay to seek therapy, often feeling like they should be able to handle things on their own or that therapy might somehow contradict their faith. But here’s the truth: Therapy isn’t about replacing God—it’s about working in tandem with the healing He provides. It’s about allowing Him to use therapists, counselors, and other professionals to bring about deeper emotional and mental healing, just like He uses doctors to heal our physical bodies. So, why do many Christians hesitate to seek therapy in the first place? Let’s dive into the most common reasons: 1. "It’s not spiritual enough." There’s this misconception that therapy is something secular and that seeking a therapist means you’re turning your back on God’s wisdom. But here's the thing: therapy can actually be an incredible tool that God uses to bring healing. Think about it this way—God works through many channels. Just as He uses doctors and medicine to heal the body, He can use therapists to help untangle the complexities of our minds. Therapy isn’t anti-God ; it’s a way to align your emotional well-being with His design for holistic health. In fact, many therapists integrate faith-based practices into their work, and you can absolutely find one who respects your values. 2. "I should be able to pray my way through this." Absolutely, prayer is powerful, and I’m a firm believer in the transformative power of talking to God. But there’s a fine line between trusting God and expecting to “fix” everything just through prayer alone. Sometimes, God uses the gifts of others—like therapists, counselors, or trusted mentors—to help us process pain, trauma, and stress. You wouldn’t hesitate to go to the doctor if you had a broken arm, so why hesitate to seek help for your mental health? Praying through your struggles can be part of the process, but therapy can help you navigate and unpack those struggles in a structured and healthy way. 3. "It’s a sign of weakness." One of the biggest barriers I see is the idea that needing therapy somehow indicates a lack of faith or weakness. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Needing help is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of wisdom. Even the most spiritually mature people experience pain, trauma, and mental health challenges. It’s not about being weak; it’s about being strong enough to admit that you need help. In fact, Jesus Himself said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Recognizing that we need rest—and that rest might come through professional support—is not a lack of faith; it’s a healthy, self-aware response to the pressures of life. 4. "I’m just not ready to open up." Vulnerability is hard. And it can feel especially hard when we’re conditioned to put on a brave face and “just deal with it” as Christians. But here’s the thing: healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens when we’re brave enough to face our pain, even in small steps. Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space where you can unpack the thoughts and emotions that feel too overwhelming to share with others. And you don’t have to do it all at once. Therapy isn’t a race—it’s a journey, and you get to move at your own pace. 5. "I don’t want to look like I’m not trusting God enough." This is a big one, especially for those who feel the weight of wanting to appear like they have everything together. But here’s the liberating truth: Seeking therapy doesn’t mean you’re failing God—it means you’re allowing Him to work through others in your life. Mental health challenges don’t make you less faithful. In fact, God often uses our struggles to deepen our faith, strengthen our resilience, and draw us closer to Him. Therapy isn’t a rejection of God’s power; it’s an acceptance of the fact that we are human, and God made us to seek help when needed. Therapy as a Tool in God’s Healing Process Ultimately, therapy is not a substitute for faith; it’s a tool within the broader framework of God’s healing process. The Bible tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), and part of that divine design includes the ability to seek support from others. Just as we wouldn’t try to heal a broken bone on our own, we shouldn’t feel obligated to work through emotional and mental struggles without professional guidance. As a therapist, I’ve seen how God uses these tools to bring restoration and wholeness. If you’re struggling with fear, anxiety, depression, or just the weight of life’s pressures, don’t be afraid to seek the support you need. You’re not abandoning your faith by doing so; you’re taking a courageous step toward emotional and spiritual healing. Conclusion It’s okay to need help. In fact, it’s a sign of strength, not weakness, to admit when you need support. Therapy doesn’t replace your faith—it complements it. You can seek professional help and  trust God with your healing. If you’re ready to take that step, remember: God is with you in the process, and He will use all means to bring you to a place of peace and wholeness. Whether through prayer, therapy, or a combination of both, the journey toward healing is one that honors God and cares for the person He created you to be. So, if you’ve been putting off therapy—don’t. You’re worth the time and the effort. You’re worth healing. And remember, God’s not just with you in your faith—He’s with you in your journey to wholeness, in every way possible.   Veronica Guerrero Quan, LPA-Independent Practice * This post was created with the assistance of an AI tool.