Jane Long, LPC, therapist at Stanley Psychology, seated in an office Let's make a back-to-school burnout prevention plan. Whether you are a busy parent to school-aged children or a stressed out college student, these strategies can help make this season more manageable. First, what is burnout? It's a state of severe physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by long-term unmanaged stress. It happens when the demands of our roles overwhelm our resources or ability to cope (National Alliance on Mental Health, 2026). Burnout can often happen during busy seasons that cause changes to our routines. Pair this with increased demands like buying school supplies, managing new schedules, and having to make numerous decisions in order to plan ahead, and you've got a recipe for extreme stress. But stress doesn't have to become burnout. If stress is short-term and managed well, it can even be beneficial to us long-term, preparing us for greater challenges in the future. Now, how do we build a back-to-school burnout prevention plan? Two key factors are going to be organization and pacing. If you do not have a planner, get one. Give your brain a break by writing down important events and deadlines. Burnout occurs when we try to rely on memory alone. If you are a parent, get a visual family calendar that you put in a shared space for all to see. Like a dry erase calendar on the fridge. Review this nightly to ensure everyone is on the same page. Limit your commitments during this already busy season. Conserve your energy. Something is likely to come up that requires your attention. Whether it's an unforeseen circumstance, a last minute change, or something you've forgotten, you'll want to be able to contend with it quickly and effectively. This might mean saying no to things that are not required — like volunteering, going to parties, helping friends move, etc. These are important things, but save them for when your new routines are more established. Schedule and prioritize down time for yourself and your children. Since we already know back-to-school is stressful, let's plan some relaxation time. Make an effort each evening for everyone to have a break. Allow children to have some unstructured play time after school before starting homework. Order a pizza so you won't have to stress over dinner. Watch a favorite movie as a family. Don't neglect your healthy habits. Try to prioritize regular exercise as it's an excellent stress management tool and get enough sleep to recover. Don't forget to use short moments during the day to embrace silence and take some deep breaths. Remember to take things one step at a time. Lastly, do not hesitate to reach out to others for support. Teachers, administrators, and academic advisors are well aware of how stressful this process can be, so don't hesitate to reach out for some resources. Prioritize time to connect with friends and loved ones. If you find yourself feeling too overwhelmed to get started, remember that it's okay to reach out for help from a licensed professional. A solid back-to-school burnout prevention plan doesn't have to be built alone — at Stanley Psychology, we are here and always ready to help. Reach out today for additional support. Reference National Alliance on Mental Health. (2026, August 14). Compassion Fatigue and Burnout. nami.org https://www.nami.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/BTS-Compassion-Fatigue-and-Burnout.pdf

Jane Long, LPC — Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in CBT and ACT at Stanley Psychology Hi, I'm Jane Long, the newest CBT therapist at Stanley Psychology in Mansfield, TX, and I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself. I was born and raised in Texas, down the road in Waxahachie, actually. Growing up, I was always curious about other people's thoughts and behaviors. Becoming a therapist became an ambition of mine when I saw how many friends of mine suffered from various mental health concerns during my middle school and high school years. So I decided to get my bachelor's in psychology from UNT and my master's in counseling from SFA. Since becoming licensed, I have worked with people from all walks of life in a variety of settings including hospitals, non-profits, universities, and private practice. These experiences have truly shown me the tenacity of the human spirit. I've had the privilege of walking alongside people going through the hardest times of their lives and seen them find an inner strength to keep going even when it feels impossible. This is what keeps me passionate about this work. I believe that every person is capable of developing this inner strength. This belief is what informs my approach to therapy. As a CBT therapist, I love helping people create meaningful change by addressing how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors influence each other. I also love utilizing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which incorporates a person's personal values and emphasizes engaging in actions that align with those values. It also uses mindfulness-based practices to help you learn how to respond rather than react to your emotions. I'm experienced in working with teens and young adults but I welcome older adults as well. Some of the issues that I enjoy helping people navigate include codependency, life transitions, self-esteem, anger management, burnout, and recovering from dysfunctional relationships. If this resonates with you, I would love to work with you. Reach out to book a session with me at our Mansfield, TX office today.

When summer rolls around, many people assume stress levels automatically decrease. School is out, schedules feel more flexible, and there are more opportunities for family fun. While that can be true in some ways, many moms find that their mental health struggles don't simply disappear when summer begins. In fact, for some, summer can feel even more overwhelming. We're often sold the idea that summer is the golden season: longer days, slower mornings, kids laughing in the backyard, family vacations, and popsicles on the porch. Those moments are real and meaningful, but they're only part of the picture. There's also the version nobody really talks about. The one where mom is running on fumes, the kids have been home for two weeks straight, the house is a disaster, and you're standing in the pantry eating chips just to get five seconds of quiet. That version of summer is also very real. It's the exhausted mom juggling constant childcare, managing everyone's schedules, carrying the mental load of planning activities, and wondering why she isn't feeling the joy everyone else seems to be experiencing. The reality is that summer mental health for moms is one of the most overlooked conversations in mental health. The loss of school routines, increased caregiving responsibilities, financial pressures from activities and vacations, and the expectation that summer should be fun all the time can create significant stress. Yet it's also a season when many women are less likely to reach out for support. If you're struggling this summer, you're not alone, and your mental health deserves attention in every season. Why Summer Mental Health for Moms Is So Hard When the Routine Disappears For many moms, the school year provides an invisible structure that quietly supports mental wellness. There's a rhythm to daily life: getting the kids ready in the morning, school drop-off, work, pick up, sports practice, dinner, bedtime. Even when days feel busy, there is a predictable flow that helps everything function. When summer arrives, that structure can disappear almost overnight. The loss of routine is more than an inconvenience. It can feel genuinely destabilizing. Our brains thrive on predictability, and routines reduce the mental effort required to get through the day. Without that structure, moms are suddenly making constant decisions from morning to night. What should we do today? Should we stay home or go out? How do I fill the next few hours? These small choices quickly add up. By midday, many moms feel like they've already run a marathon, even though the day is still unfolding. This decision fatigue can lead to irritability, exhaustion, and a sense of being mentally drained before the afternoon even begins. For moms managing anxiety, depression, ADHD, or burnout, the lack of structure can make symptoms feel more intense. Financial Stress Summer costs money... oftentimes a lot of it. Activities, camps, vacations, eating out more, increased utility bills, and constant small extras add up quickly. For many families, summer becomes a season of financial strain disguised as fun. On the surface it can look relaxed and spontaneous, but behind the scenes it often requires constant budgeting and trade-offs. Moms frequently carry the invisible weight of managing family finances while also trying to create meaningful experiences for their kids. The pressure to "give them a good summer" while watching every dollar creates a difficult emotional tension. Many moms feel guilt when they spend and guilt when they don't. Social comparison can make this even harder. Seeing other families traveling or filling their summers with activities can amplify feelings of inadequacy, even when those glimpses don't show the full financial picture. Over time, this ongoing balancing act can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout. Less Alone Time, More Overstimulation Introverted moms, and even extroverted moms, need time to decompress. Summer often takes that away. Kids are home, the house is louder, routines are looser, and personal space starts to disappear. The constant noise, interruptions, and physical presence of children who need something from you all day can push any mom right to her limit. There is rarely a moment where your nervous system actually gets to settle. Even basic things like drinking coffee while it's still warm, taking a shower, or finishing a thought can be interrupted over and over again. Over time, that constant interruption adds up and leaves you feeling overstimulated, irritable, and mentally drained. Being "touched out," "talked out," and "thought out" is not dramatic. It is your body signaling that it is overloaded and needs rest. When there is no real space to reset during the day, stress doesn't get a chance to come down... it just builds. And without those small pockets of alone time, overstimulation turns into burnout faster than most people realize. Signs You May Need Extra Support This Summer Just because the weather is warmer doesn't mean anxiety, depression, burnout, or stress go away. Some signs that your mental health may be struggling include: Feeling overwhelmed most days Increased irritability or snapping at loved ones Difficulty sleeping Constant worry or racing thoughts Feeling emotionally exhausted Loss of motivation Feeling guilty for needing time to yourself A lot of moms tell themselves, "I just need to make it through summer." But constantly pushing through can lead to even more burnout. One thing I hear from moms all the time is, "Everyone else comes first." Your children matter. Your spouse matters. Your job matters. But you matter too. Taking care of your mental health is not selfish. It's necessary. When you're running on empty, it's hard to show up as the parent, partner, friend, or employee you want to be. Seeking support doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means you're recognizing that carrying everything by yourself isn't sustainable. You Don't Have to Wait Therapy isn't just for when things are falling apart. It can be a place to process stress, build coping skills, work on boundaries, manage anxiety, and have one hour where someone is fully focused on you and what you're carrying. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, or like you're carrying the weight of everyone else's needs, those feelings don't have to reach a breaking point before you respond to them. A lot of moms wait until they are completely depleted before they consider therapy, but it can also be preventative. It can be a space to slow down enough to notice what you need, not just what everyone else needs from you. Summer mental health for moms matters just as much as any other season. You don't have to wait until fall to start feeling more like yourself again. This is your invitation to stop pushing through it alone. Reach out and schedule a session so you can have consistent support this summer, not just survival.

Jessica Simonetti, M.S.   We all most likely know someone with a smartphone. We all also most likely know someone who is always on their phone and never seems to have the ability to set it down. They seem to be addicted to being on their phone at all times. Maybe this person is you or maybe it’s someone you know, but one thing is for sure: there is increased research that suggests using a smartphone or other electronic devices can cause symptoms congruent with an addiction and can potentially cause an increase in ADHD in adults. Smartphone addiction, also known as problematic or compulsive smartphone use, refers to excessive and compulsive use of smartphones or other mobile devices, often to the detriment of one's well-being, relationships, and daily functioning. While smartphones offer numerous benefits such as communication, access to information, and entertainment, excessive use can lead to negative consequences. Some signs of addiction to a cell phone include: Preoccupation: Constantly thinking about or feeling the urge to use the phone, even in inappropriate or unsafe situations. Excessive Use: Spending an excessive amount of time on the phone, often at the expense of other activities such as work, school, or socializing. Withdrawal Symptoms: Experiencing anxiety, irritability, or distress when unable to use the phone, such as when the battery dies or there is no internet connection. Loss of Control: Difficulty controlling phone use despite efforts to cut back or limit usage. Negative Impact on Relationships: Neglecting relationships with family and friends or experiencing conflict with loved ones due to excessive phone use. Negative Impact on Health: Physical symptoms such as eyestrain, headaches, neck or back pain, and disrupted sleep patterns due to excessive screen time. Impaired Functioning: Decline in academic or work performance, decreased productivity, or neglect of responsibilities due to excessive phone use. Escapism: Using the phone as a means of escaping from stress, boredom, or negative emotions. Previous research indicates that 15% of young American adults aged 18 to 29 rely heavily on their smartphones for online connectivity, with 46% viewing their smartphones as indispensable (Smith, 2015). Toma et. al (2022) completed a study that looked at the effects of smartphone addiction on adult ADHD symptoms and well-being of the user. They found that in connection with smartphone addiction, there was a moderately adverse correlation with well-being and a significantly positive association with symptoms of adult ADHD. Similar findings have been documented by other researchers investigating the repercussions of excessive or problematic utilization of electronic devices—such as addictive conduct contributing to diminished well-being and mental health complications. This can likely be attributed to some of the key traits of ADHD being linked to addictive and problematic behaviors that can occur with smartphone addiction. Another study done by Panagiotidi and Overton (2020) had a sample comprising of 273 healthy adult volunteers who took assessments using the Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRS), the Mobile Phone Problem Usage Scale (MPPUS), and the Smartphone Addiction Scale (SAS). A noteworthy positive correlation emerged between the ASRS and both scales. Notably, symptoms of inattention and age emerged as predictors of the propensity for smartphone addiction and problematic mobile phone usage. Their findings indicated a favorable association between traits indicative of ADHD and problematic utilization of mobile phones. As you can see, recent studies have revealed a notable overlap between smartphone addiction and ADHD symptoms in adults. Individuals with ADHD may be more susceptible to excessive smartphone use due to factors such as impulsivity, poor impulse control, and difficulty in maintaining attention. However, both smartphone addiction and ADHD can manifest with similar symptoms, and this overlap can sometimes make it challenging to distinguish between the two conditions. The important thing to note is the co-occurrence of smartphone addiction and ADHD can have detrimental effects on various aspects of adult functioning, including work, relationships, and mental well-being. So what can you do if this all sounds similar to what you are experiencing? A big first step is to first admit that you need help. There is nothing wrong with reaching this point and needing help to work past these issues you are facing.  Treatment requires a comprehensive approach that addresses both the smartphone addiction and ADHD symptoms simultaneously. This may involve things such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques to modify problematic smartphone use patterns and other interventions to manage ADHD symptoms such as medication, psychoeducation, and skills training. Your therapist will work with you to provide education about the relationship between smartphone addiction and ADHD, as well as teach you coping strategies and alternative ways of managing ADHD symptoms. Mindfulness-based interventions, such as mindfulness meditation and progressive muscle relaxation, can help individuals develop greater self-awareness, reduce stress, and improve attentional control. These techniques can be particularly beneficial for managing impulsivity and regulating emotions. It is also important to establish clear boundaries and limitations around your smartphone use, such as setting specific times for phone-free activities or implementing times where your phone is not on for any reason in certain environments. This can help reduce reliance on smartphones and promote healthier habits. Overall, recognizing the interplay between smartphone addiction and ADHD in adults is essential for providing effective intervention and support. By addressing both conditions concurrently, clinicians can help individuals suffering with symptoms in these areas improve their functioning and quality of life again.   Jessica is accepting new therapy patients. Please reach out to Stanley Psychology to inquire about services! References Panagiotidi, M., & Overton, P. (2020). Attention deficit hyperactivity symptoms predict problematic mobile phone use. Current Psychology, 41(5), 2765–2771. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-020-00785-2 Smith, A. (2015, April 1). U.S. smartphone use in 2015. Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech. http://www.pewinternet.org/2015/04/01/us-smartphone-use-in-2015/ Toma, R. A., Anderson, C. A., Matichescu, M., Franţ, A., Almǎjan-Guţă, B., Cândea, A., & Bailey, K. (2022). Effects of media use, smart phone addiction, and adult ADHD symptoms on wellbeing of college students during the COVID-19 lockdown: Dispositional hope as a protective factor. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.1019976

Welcome to Stanley Psychology! I'm Dr. Stanley, but I tend to be informal - most of my patients call me Amanda. I want to welcome you to our practice. I am excited to be establishing our practice in Historic Downtown Mansfield, Texas, to embrace the charm of the area and community culture. We want our practice to feel comfortable for our patients and like a second home, rather than having too much of a medical feel. I truly believe the best healing begins with being comfortable and that starts with the treatment environment. I am also happy to announce we will continue remote services for those who prefer to attend virtual sessions. Many psychology group practices focus on a single area of expertise throughout their clinicians; meaning, that the whole practice has a specific specialty. This works great for some practices. However, when expanding my practice, I wanted to embrace the diversity in specialties for clinicians, leading us to serve a wider range of patients. Individuals who practice in the mental health field tend to be generalists; meaning, they are equipped to treat a wide variety of issues, as we all are here. However, each clinician also brings specialties to the practice. For myself, I specialize in trauma and substance abuse treatment. Morgan Flores, one of our therapists, specializes with couples and families, Christian counseling, and women’s issues. Morgan Brown, one of our other therapists, specializes in treating anxiety, self-esteem concerns, and is our child expert in the practice treating children ages 4+. In addition, as clinicians trained in the science of psychology, we are all experienced in conducting testing or psychological evaluations, which is something unique to our specific field. We are also always looking to hire new clinicians to bring additional specialties to our practice. In our office, each therapist utilizes a base of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with additional modalities utilized depending on clinician and case circumstances. All treatment is supervised by me, allowing each patient to have access to both a psychologist and their treating therapist throughout their mental health journey. We are also excited to be offering group therapy for various concerns- keep an eye out on our social medias and in-office for information! We are delighted you are here- welcome in! Dr. Amanda Stanley

Morgan Brown, M.S. Let’s say you have a child that is, for all intents and purposes, a loose cannon. They are constantly having temper tantrums about who knows what. They are always yelling and crying about seemingly insignificant changes to their schedule. They have a nighttime routine that takes 20 minutes to get through because they must know if the door is locked, the windows are locked, the car is locked, the refrigerator door is closed, the lights are turned off (but not the one in the hallway), and there is a clear path from their room to your room that they could take in the dark in case of emergencies. They come across as difficult, emotionally sensitive, manipulative, and defiant. But, if you think about it for a second, could it be that this child is just feeling overly anxious? It goes without saying, but children and adults are very different. As we grow, we mature in understanding ourselves, our feelings, and how to verbalize that connection. That being said, emotions and their expressions are going to look different between a child and a mature adult or even an adolescent. For example, if an adult is feeling sad, most of the time, they are able to verbalize what has caused them to feel sad (grieving a loss, hurt feelings, disappointment, etc.). However, children may not be able to pinpoint the cause of their sadness; they just know that they feel sad! This also applies to other emotions, including anxiety. A study conducted by Suveg and Zeman (2004) on anxiety in children found that children with anxiety disorders “had difficulty managing worried, sad, and anger experiences, potentially due to their report of experiencing emotions with high intensity and having little confidence in their ability to regulate this arousal.” Not only does high anxiety bring difficulty with regulating emotions, but it also brings low self-esteem and low confidence in the ability to tolerate the anxiety. No wonder anxious children come across as difficult and defiant. There is a lot going on in their young brains and bodies! It has been established that anxiety in children is expressed in different ways, but what are those ways? Here are some common expressions of anxiety and worry in children. Anger Anger is a common expression of anxiety in children, and it makes sense when you think about it. As you most likely know, anxiety is a strong (or big) emotion. Imagine having that anxiety with no idea as to what you are feeling or how to verbalize what you are feeling. It would be frustrating, right? And add to that frustration that you also have authority figures who do not understand what you are experiencing, giving orders or punishments, further increasing that anxiety and feeling of being overwhelmed. That’s when the child becomes extremely frustrated and angry with no obvious cause for anger. Chandeliering Brene Brown (2015) defined chandeliering as being the moment when a seemingly calm person suddenly flies off the handle. This occurs when someone makes an innocent comment or people are simply going about their business when the child erupts in a temper tantrum. What caused it? Anxiety. When children feel unequipped to handle or verbalize their worry or anxiety, they may push it down, but we can only hold so much before we are sent straight through the chandelier. Restlessness Most of us have heard about the Fight or Flight Response to danger, but what happens when we feel afraid as if we are in danger, but we have nothing to fight or run from? Well, we have excess energy with no outlet. This situation can result in hyperactivity or jittery movements. Controlling Behaviors There is fear in uncertainty. When we feel as though we have no control over our situation, in order to ease the fear, we want to take control of it. For children, this may look like they are being demanding, rude, bossy, or aggressive. In reality, they are just trying to gain a sense of safety in their world by taking control of situations that make them feel uncomfortable. Clinginess I think it goes without saying, but we tend to feel the safest with those who provide our needs, which for most of us, is our parents. In children, this may look like stubborn clinginess, but really, it is the child trying to calm their anxiety by going to their safe place. Tummy Aches, Headaches, or Sore Muscles Does your child frequently complain about an upset stomach or headache when they wake up in the morning? It may seem like they are just trying to get out of going to school (and maybe they are), but for some, it is their physical body dealing with anxiety. When we feel that we are in danger, the stress hormone, Cortisol, is released in our bodies. Two places that this hormone is released are in (you guessed it!) the head and the stomach. Nighttime is scary for a lot of kids, so Cortisol might have been settling into their little bodies through the night. Additionally, the body tenses when one is anxious, and when your muscles are tensed for a long time, it creates soreness. Your child might not be lying, they may really not feel good in the mornings! Trouble Sleeping Speaking of nighttime, anxiety tends to increase at night for a lot of children. It’s dark and quiet; the perfect recipe for growing anxiety. When you’re anxious, your mind is reeling, and not wanting to slow down and go to sleep. This leaves your child tossing and turning through the night, or going to bed late/waking up early. Having been the child described at the beginning, I know what helped me process and regulate my anxious behaviors when I was a kid. Here are a few things that you can do to help your anxious child. Create a safe space for emotional expression. Allowing your child to feel the emotions they are experiencing in a safe space and talking to them about those feelings is beneficial for their confidence and emotional maturity. Educate them on different emotions and what they feel like This allows your child to understand what they are feeling in order to verbalize their needs, decreasing their need for meltdowns. If they know how (and are encouraged) to tell you what they are feeling and what they need, they will be less likely to see a tantrum as their only way to bring attention to their needs. Create a fear (or worry) box For a child who has a lot of fears, this is a great tool. Grab an empty box and have your child decorate it however they like. This will be their Fear/Worry Box. Whenever they have a fear or a worry that day, they can write it or draw it on a piece of paper and put it in the box. You can either keep the fear in the box because when it’s in the box, it can’t get back out! Or you can designate a time to go through the box together with your child and talk through all of the fears and worries they have had, providing reassurance and support. Once they have been talked about, they can be ripped up and thrown away because those worries are NOT here to stay! Practice breathing exercises and mindfulness Taking slow deep breaths: In (like you’re smelling a flower) and out (like you’re blowing a bubble) is a good way to calm down when you’re feeling anxious and it’s an exercise that can be done no matter where you’re child is. Simple yoga stretches (downward dog, cow pose, cat pose, child pose, rainbow stretch, etc.) are also a great way of refocusing the mind and slowing down anxious thoughts. Regular therapy Finally, having your child involved in therapy sessions, whether every week, every other week, or once a month would be beneficial to help your child learn healthy coping skills and emotional regulation. It also gives your child a safe space to express and process emotions that they may not feel comfortable talking about with those whom they see every day. Anxiety is a big emotion, but it is not impossible to manage. There is hope for highly anxious children and for your family. Growth is possible! Morgan is currently accepting new patients! If you are interested in services with Morgan, please contact our office and our Patient Care Coordinator will assist you. Citations: Brown, B. (2015). Rising strong. Vermilion. Suveg, C. & Zeman, J. (2004). Emotion regulation in children with anxiety disorders, Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 33:4, 750-759.

Amanda Stanley, Ph.D. Grounding is a technique used in mental health to help people come into the present moment with their senses. Mindfulness is described as being in the present moment, whereas grounding is used to get to the present moment. These terms are sometimes used interchangeably, and that is ok- there’s no quiz here! When we worry, we are focused about something that has happened in the past or thinking about something in the future . Grounding helps us stop this past/future focus and be in the present moment by engaging our five senses. Let’s talk about how grounding is classically taught first…and then I’ll tell you why I tell patients to “throw that out the window” when I teach grounding and what to really do, based on success in practice. The classic instruction is to use a 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 strategy: First, we want to use sight . Look around and name five things you can see. Focus on the details of each object. Then, we use touch . Feel four things that you can touch. Really feel the texture of the item you are touching, and think about the sensations and temperature. Next is hearing . Name three things you can hear. You want to pay attention to sounds in your environment, such as a fan, birds, traffic, a clock, etc. Then, we use smell . Focus on any scents in the air such as with food or nature. Scented lotions work well too. Last, we want to taste . Get something nearby to taste that is pleasant, and describe the flavor and any other sensations you experience. Why is this difficult to do? Well, if you are already anxious or otherwise distressed, this can be overwhelming. Unless you are visually impaired, most people can complete the five things you can see. Four things you can touch are also typically easy for people. However, after that, it gets tricky! I don’t know about you, but unless I am out in nature, it is difficult to think of three things you can hear. This can induce pressure and panic to find an answer; now we are getting more worked up. Two things to smell? We don’t always have multiple pleasant smelling things around us. Lastly, for taste- if we do not have something to taste, this can induce more stress to try to find something to complete the task. Taken together, grounding in the classical sense can actually be counterproductive by adding to distress. If it works for you, great! But if not, here are some alternatives: The 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 strategy: just like above, but focus on only one thing for each sense. If you do not have something to taste nearby, you can imagine something pleasant to you. The 1-sense strategy: Pick your favorite sense, and use that! You can do 5 things you see and successfully ground yourself, as an example. Touch is another great one for the one-sense approach. The multi-sense item: Some people like having an established “grounding item” that engages multiple senses. Small lotion bottles are a great example- you can feel the texture of the bottle, the cap, and the actual lotion; you can see the writing on the bottle and then focus on the color of the lotion; and, you can smell the pleasant scent of the lotion. In our office, we offer scented dough balls (think of a more pliable stress ball) to help ground with multiple senses- next time you are in-office, feel free to ask for one! Regardless of how you approach grounding, a lot of individuals think that this just “won’t help” and disregard it before ever trying. I think that is typically due to improper expectations. Is grounding going to solve your problem? No, of course not! But, does it allow your mind to take a “brain break” and focus on something pleasant in the moment to take the edge off? Yes, it does. When you return to thinking about the stressor, you can usually do so from a calmer place with more clarity. Try it out, let us know what you think, and watch future blog entries and posts for more anxiety management strategies! -Dr. Stanley

Morgan Flores, M.S. Morgan is a unique therapist in that she has training in psychology and also holds a pastoral license, making her uniquely qualified to incorporate biblical principles into therapy when desired. In some church settings and Christian homes “psychology” and “mental health” have been considered taboo topics or concepts that are off the table for consideration. Christians can feel leery of counseling out of a concern that psychology can be used to try and navigate life without God or they believe that mental health problems are only faith issues. On the contrary, it is worth noting that God made humans very intricate and complex, and considering how we were designed is insightful in understanding how we function, or stop functioning in some way. The Bible says we were made in his image (Genesis 1:27, Bible verse) and we have a spirit, soul (mind and personality), and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23, Bible verse). From a Christian perspective, when talking about mental health issues or anything negative, destructive, or painful in life, it can be traced back to the fall of man in the first book of the Bible (Genesis 3). When the first humans, Adam and Eve, chose to disobey God, sin entered the world which not only affected them but every human thereafter. In everyday life, the suffering of the spirit, soul, and body occurs because of someone’s own sin, the sins of others, or simply because we live in an imperfect world. The general degeneration that sin introduced presents as physical and mental ailments in people's lives, both Christian and non-Christian alike. Mental health issues can genuinely be an affliction that some people experience like any other ailment. This knowledge can reduce the stigma that getting help can have. Even in the case of mental suffering due to questionable decision-making, if someone came to get help, would it not be more like Jesus to go to that person rather than leave them to suffer? He came for the sinner (Mark 9:10-17), is close to the brokenhearted (Psalms 34:18), and gives wisdom generously to those who ask without finding fault (James 1:5). Something I love about God and that deeply comforts and challenges me is that He is not just interested in getting people to heaven; he wants people to live genuine, god-honoring, full, and abundant lives here and now. Walking in that reality is a faith-filled process that requires reflection, humility, and intentional growth! Amazingly, the principles in God’s Word benefit both Christians and non-Christians alike. Granted, as a Christian, I believe the biggest blessing in Christianity is God himself. It does not surprise me, however, when empirically based psychological research and interventions align with the Bible and beautifully complement the application of godly living. When considering Christians specifically, it is important to note that having spiritual disciplines, such as going to church, serving, and keeping Christian company, does not automatically mean someone is emotionally mature. These are avenues God uses for growth and are worthwhile but a person can engage in these activities all their life and still be in the same place mentally and emotionally as they were before they were saved. Even reading the Bible does not automatically equate to biblical living. The application of the Word is what makes a difference and it is a very personal process as patterns of dysfunction are challenged in everyone's life. The wise see it not as a roadblock but rather an opportunity for growth, deeper intimacy with God, and a more fulfilling and meaningful life in relationship with others. Not all people, even those who call themselves Christians, are willing to go on this journey, however. Put another way, just like wisdom does not automatically come with age, spirituality does not automatically equal emotional maturity. Intentional work in therapy can facilitate the process of emotional maturity that honors God and leads people into the abundant life God wants them to have. From this perspective, it is very courageous and faith-provoking to engage in counseling when it is used to better understand ourselves, better understand God and truly allow our beliefs as Christians to define how we live and not just go on with the same old same old just because it is familiar. In the case of non-Christians, I have personally seen God use therapy in a person’s life to meet them in their deepest pain and confusion, quiet the chaos, and bring light to the darkest places with utmost patience and care. For this reason, I am not exclusively a Christian counselor but rather a therapist who is a Christian who offers Christian counseling and non-Christian counseling as well. I deeply trust that God himself loves each of my patients and is actively pursuing them with such intentionality that I am not set on being the one who presents the gospel in direct terms with patients who are not of the same perspective. I respect each patient’s journey and where they are in relation to God. It is not my job to persuade or convince but rather speak the trust in love, modeling genuine connection and unconditional care. I ask God for discernment to see and understand each patient in their pain and to have the grace to be able to meet them there and begin the journey forward. In short, I believe that is what Jesus did and I am so honored to share that space with my patients too. Let it be acknowledged, that the perspective that counseling is anti-Christian can come from a deeply admirable desire to trust God above all else and grow in faith. Having faith and trusting in God as our primary source, however, does not mean that God cannot use a medical or mental health intervention as the means of help and healing in a way that honors him (and even grows their faith in the process)! God can, AND DOES, heal people in a moment. He also can, and does, heal people through a process; of mending and restoring while also teaching and building up along the way. While it is not the only avenue, therapy can be a tool in God's hand to initiate, cultivate, and celebrate this process in a beautiful way. Morgan is currently accepting new patients! If you are interested in services with Morgan, please contact our office and our Patient Care Coordinator will assist you.

Amanda Stanley, Ph.D. Disclaimer: this is not a dad-hating blog- there are plenty of great dads out there (who "dad" in their own way). But this one is to celebrate moms, who just won’t stop momming. Many of my therapy patients with children will often hear me say “moms are always momming” no matter how old their children get. Adult child has a tough day at work? Mom wants to be there. Young child sick? Mom to the rescue. Child has a great accomplishment? Enter celebratory mom! Child struggling with something? No better comfort than mom. Old moms, new moms, grandmoms, adoptive moms…moms are always momming. Even as an adult psychologist, many of my patients who have adult children also “mom” me- making suggestions for a new cold medicine if they hear me sniffling or a certain office accessory to fill a need. I find this incredibly endearing (and helpful!), and will also chuckle and point out how moms are always momming when this happens. Growing up, my mom was the epitome of always momming. As a child I never realized how fortunate I was that breakfast was always ready, dinner was always homemade, and lunches were packed (including making sure all four of us children had our favorites- even if that meant making four types of sandwiches). No matter how hard her day may have been, we always came first. Mom was our biggest cheerleader- I don’t know how many 5am trips she took to make sure we made our extracurricular activities on time. And of course  we did not make it easy- choir, swimming, theater, basketball, baseball, even math competitions (I’ll own that one- yes, I was a mathlete). I was diagnosed with asthma as an adolescent, and for the next several decades anytime I coughed my mom would ask how my asthma was- mom was always momming. Normal is relative, and although I was appreciative, this all was my normal- I did not know another way. Although moms are always momming, moms seem to have to super-mom this time of year, when they often get the short end of the stick. The pressure to have holiday magic, arrange schedules, find the perfect gifts, and so on. More and more tasks seem to get added- many of you have to come up with a creative place to move an elf (every day for weeks on end) and, for those with young children, cannot get through December schooldays without navigating when pajama day, grinch day, cookie day, etc., are. Many moms spend the majority of December on a computer these days, focused on finding the perfect gift for everyone who makes the gift list, from children and spouse, to in-laws and teachers, often for others to get the accolades. When it comes to holidays, many moms focus on taking pictures of  their family, often being forgotten to actually be IN the pictures. Or worse, that they are hosting a group and are focused on making sure everyone is fed while trying to watch the gift opening over their shoulder.   As I reflect on childhood during this time of year, I recall that things just seemed to appear - the tree, the ornament boxes, the presents, the ice-skating figurines, the Mr. Bingle (a New Orleans tradition), the Christmas cookies. Sure, we would decorate the tree together, but let’s be honest- mom did the hard work. My mother passed in 2018, and we would do anything to have another Christmas with her- even if the tree stayed in the attic, breakfast was pouring yourself cereal, bows did not match the presents, and homemade cookies were nowhere in sight. It’s truly not about these things. These days, my sister (as the mom of adult children) has been the magic maker for the holidays for the whole family for years. We joke that she is “Mrs. Claus” and I’m fairly certain she has every holiday décor item that Target has ever made (joking…sort of). Anyone (person or dog) who comes to her house gets a stocking- with 20+ people and 10 or so dogs, this is not an easy task. For decades, she has somehow managed to find the perfect gifts for people (things I would never think of) and navigated the integral tree of family, spouses, in-laws, etc., to determine when there is overlap for all of us to do a secret santa gift exchange and eat a meal together. This is a good reminder to make sure she can enjoy Christmas morning- no matter how old her children get (now in their twenties), she has been consistently joyous watching them open gifts throughout the years. So moms….prioritize yourself. Especially during this season. You should get front row to the present opening- who cares if breakfast is late, delegated to others, or even nonexistent? Struggling with the perfect gift for someone? Everyone loves gift cards. No one will care if the bow on the present is perfect, and no one will care if the holiday cards are late. Ask someone else to snap all the pictures so that you can live in the moment (and also make an appearance in the images- I promise you, 20 years from now, you will not care if your hair was a mess and clothes were wrinkly- you want those priceless images). And most importantly- give yourself some grace.  This time of year, you get more tasks to do but no more time to do them (the math does not work, from the former mathlete haha); something has to give and too often the default is to compromise yourself.  I promise- your loved ones do not want that. Enjoy and embrace the imperfectness to this season, and stop trying to make it perfect.

Happy New Year! Perhaps fitting, but this message is coming a bit late. Like so many out there, this time of year has seemingly approached so quickly! Each new year, so many people (myself included at times!) set unobtainable goals, typically referred to as resolutions. Per definition, a resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something. Well, isn’t that daunting? As a new year’s resolution, we are pressured with something referred to as a “firm decision.” Because of this pressure, too often people make lofty goals, do not obtain them, and by a few weeks into January feel negatively towards themselves and stop trying. It is much healthier to make our goals small, measurable, and obtainable. I also recommend using the word “goal” rather than “resolution” -verbiage can be powerful to our mindsets! Small: Work your way up! Establish the new behavior first, then challenge yourself to increase it. If you want to run a marathon, you would not start by running 26 miles! Measurable:  If you say your goal is to be more kind, what does that mean? If you give one compliment, have you met your goal? Give yourself measurable goals! If you’d like to be more kind, perhaps you can challenge yourself to volunteer in the community once per month, or to compliment at least one person when you go to the grocery store. Obtainable:  The classic example of working out; if you do not work out at all in 2023, you are not going to suddenly maintain a strenuous 5-6 day/week workout schedule in 2024. Maybe for 1-2 weeks we can, but inevitably we fall off and perhaps work out three times that week and feel like a failure. In 2023, we did not at all, but the third week in January 2024 we work out 3 times and are a failure? Tell me how this makes sense!  You can always increase the goals as you show yourself you can stick to new behaviors and patterns! Reflecting on 2023 Gratitude is a powerful thing! Even in times of struggle, there are things we can be express gratitude for. As we reflect on 2023, we are grateful for many things. Myself, I am grateful for expanding my practice from solo to a group, which allows the practice to offer more services to our community. As many know, many mental health providers have been solidly booked for years due to the pandemic, and, in part due to embracing telehealth, many remain this way. By having additional staff building caseloads, we are able to offer services more quickly. Plus, the variety of clinicians allows patients to be matched for a great fit- rapport is everything in our world! Roxy & Dr. Stanley, one month after Roxy's surgery Personally, I am grateful that after a huge health scare in March (including hospitalizations and a surgery), my sweet Roxy Belle is happy and healthy. Roxy is almost 15 years old, and I rescued her from a shelter when she was 2 months old- right in the middle of my doctoral program. We’ve had quite the adventures together, and I am so grateful we were blessed with a bit more time with her. Petrona, Morgan B., & Morgan F. Morgan B., Morgan F., and Petrona all received their master’s degrees in clinical psychology at various points of 2023- quite the accomplishment! As one of their supervisors when they were students, I have seen so much growth and am proud of the clinicians they have become. In addition, Morgan F. offered that in 2023 she embraced the idea that she does not have to be a perfect mom; rather, to be humble and show her children how to handle mistakes because they are human too. A very important message- we are all fallible! After balancing so many tasks for so long, Morgan learned in 2023 that it is important to celebrate and take time to rest- such a good message for us all to embrace! At Stanley Psychology, we are embracing the new year with more in-office offerings for appointments and new clinicians joining us. We are looking forward to a productive, supportive, and celebratory new year!